The kids will come to their own conclusion in time. All of this after she brought the man who beat her while she was holding their baby back into the home. Im not the type of women that says if you dont pay Im not letting you see the kids. As long as he is involved in there lives thats all that matters. This is usually the person who receives child benefit for that child. Well ok lets look at the cost and risk of abortion and adoption. Section 8 housing, TEACH/FSEOG college funds, welfare, WIC, and numerous other benefits that is not even including child support. While many low-income fathers have trouble with accommodating support; how does this level up for the monthers, working two to three jobs, attending college courses and spending the majority of their non-working moments on the expressway, shopping for Schiller clothes and supplies, household goods, groceries, cooking, entertaining, helping with homework, disciplining and a plethora of other responsibilities. Even if the mother asked for the support to be modified by asking the judge, it usually is not granted. As soon as the state locates his employer, he skips to another job. Dads everywhere are getting screwed over and treated badly! My retirement is 75k. I did not work for 15 years. also I am holding my revision of CS schedule (I Have custody) and am STILL responsible for 69% of CS (thanks in part to the 10% badbad father must pay baddad rule drafted under title IV-D of Social security act). We missed holiday dinner and I had to pay someone else to fix my car. Believing that child support unjustly enriches state agencies, many . We all bleed red and eat bread. It took 4 years of back and forth through the courts trying to get the time-sharing custody plan in place so the child support could be reduced but she kept stalling and wouldnt provide her tax returns because she knew it would be all over for her. Even though I have no children, I got one anyways. Wrong. And no government action should have the power to upset equality. My ex lived off child support alone for a few months, after she was fired. Gets paid straight cash, and has since 1997. I got an OVI and spent 4 months in jail last year and lost my job and have restored my life yet with my current criminal record, the best job I could land is working at Wendys, closing making $8.75 an hour while paying my oldest daughters CS plus arrearage payments. It sounds like the father could jump through hoops backwards to be there for the children and that still wouldnt be good enough for you. Nobody is entitled to the fruits of someone elses labor, Legally. EXPECTING women to be feminists is the problem. Children do grow up and I have a 8 year old daughter that I would have a HARD time spending that on. BUT they are all NOT deadbeats. There was a point where I think he stopped bathing. Thats absolutely 100% correct , its just not worth it in this day and age . This blows my wife has 400k trust fund her dad pays her13 k to be in a band she has a part timing gig at weight watchers only to make 25 k a minimum here her dad did our taxes for years and he has pumped thousand of dollars over the years as gifted money. So again, dont pass off your responsibility on tax paying citizens, thank you. It is time to ACT. I paid for all the health insurance, I paid all the co-pays, I provided all the birthday, Easter, Christmas, etc., presents. The research indicated that fathers typically gained financially following a divorce, even though they were ordered to pay child support, and mothers typically lost financially, they had both. There are a couple of other pages, but its the same thing in other languages. I know a fact that this lady does not use child support money on our child, she uses it on alcohol and other things that have nothing to do with the child, but hey I digress. I continue to email my legislators asking them to make child support a shared responsibility instead of requiring the non-custodial parent to provide a government mandated lifestyle for the children (and by inference, the custodial parent) but the legislators are terrified of being seen as soft on deadbeat parents. She left without my knowing over three years ago from Texas to Pennsylvania and I have not seen my now 16 year old since. i dont understand why you need childsupport if you made the choice of having the baby a mother shud not complain of provinding for it. Why filter the $ through my ex? I did go back to file for child support, but at this point, I know Im wasting my time. I say we dont separate fathers from mothers in this battle for new legislation and justice. My husband pays almost 1200 a month in support, yet the kids always complain that they dont see any if it. Both man and woman decide to take responsibility of that action equally. My story? This isnt a parental rights situation. Recently, firms that specialize in men's divorce have popped up all over. Mind you, for. Both man and woman decide to lay together equally. They should have to sit behind bars until its paid ! Its design results in discrimination against fathers both in terms of custody and child support. If she wants to keep the child and make the guy pay. I know this takes a little power away from you as a female, but its ok. Men have been wronged, just accept it. The Office of Child Support Enforcement assures that support (both financial and medical) is available to children through locating parents, establishing paternity, identifying support obligations, and enforcing those obligations. Pay up, or go to jail (debtors prison).. if parents divorce they choose to go separate ways which mean they a equally responsible to maintain their separate households and utilities. Im sorry, but I dont believe your story for a second. The child benefits greatly from the growth in both parents, agreements and disagreements. SMH at all the ridiculous complaining on these boards whether the CP (usually Mom) is working or not. And he is an amazing father. We pay almost $400 a month in child support for her to have her only and extra 4days a month? My ex wife was ordered to pay $55/wk, but is now $60G behind because shes never been enforced to pay. Freedom being not having to find childcare, being able to go out whenever or wherever they want, not dealing with teenage drama or temper tantrums, making sure the kids are respectful civilized human beings etc. Make sure you get a decent lawyer because shes a woman and automatically has the law on her side. This process actually made me consider going back to school to practice family law just so I can advocate for fathers rights. We ended up reconciling, and I wasnt experienced enough to make sure the case was closed. But the system is unjust. She got pregnant immediately and left when the baby was just 6 months old and moved 5 hours away. So what can we do??? The Child Support Performance and Incentive Act creates financial incentives to both place the children with the lower earning parent, and to restrict the non-custodial parents access to their children. I was paying $436 a month for child support. She went to my nieces house with her daughter to get away from him for a week and when she went back he kicked her out. Fine, already have them on medical, then not even two days ago before the first payment, they send me a notice to pay all,chikd support or they are sending it to credit bereaus. Him, not their mom who receives the cs. He got her for child support and took full custody of the children said she was going to leave the state which is not true. I tell the court that she will not let me see my children, she gives the court the excuse of he didnt call on my sons birthday, so Im not going to make my 3 kids call their father. In my relpy, I was at work. In my situation, we had an agreement for over 6 years for a set amount. Money does matter to the kids, time does. Though I also agree some parents are wonderful parents and unfortunately do have financial problems I also believe their are dead beat parents out there avoiding responsibility. Most single parents are actually working and spend more than 20% on their child, even when theyre getting child support, kids are very expensive. 750 a month daycare? They are taught that any form of punishment is child abuse of some form, and that they can forever blame their short-comings in life upon their childhood, shrowded with falsehoods and depictions of even the most blatent displays of affectionate parenting as some form of neglect or abuse, tainting their entire upbringing, that could have been fairly peaceful and normal had the number one focus been on raising the children to the best of our ability as co-parents. Its about FATHERs rights. Now he works for us in a real job. The US Justice Department said in a 9 page memo that incarceration for court fees and fines is against the law.The Federal Government contradicts itself in Child Support Regulations though?????! I got the full scene on video and got it online for divorce proof later on. This isnt just my child its hers as well and I pay all this money for a kid I no longer see! There is little rational or scientific basis for bias towards females in custody determinations. If doesnt have money to have comfortable life then would you consider him to be in relationship, I dont think many women would. We actively reach out to the adult kids but are met with denial. We refused to put that in divorce decree because if we were still married nobody could make us pay, so why should being divorced change that? This makes the assumption that the states dont already know their laws are draconian. Gets better, I have a second child, his son, which he also never offered to take care of while I lived at the hospital with my daughter. This is such a blessing for us. 50/50 custody does nothing to serve a child well, it screws them up.. modern day laws are completely out of touch with reality of best interest of the child standard its a joke, and as for a parent that doesnt want to pay child support, 50/50 will most likely grant it. Im better, No, Im better. I was even told to stop trying to get out of your responsibility. It really is a lose lose situation because if I visit less then some lady or idiot organization is going to say you dont care about your son or want to know more about him, yet if i spend more time and work less and then cant pay support then i became the stereotyped deadbeat dad so yes this system is flawed to the max. There are support for the divorce side which wasnt helpful for my case. Of course, Im actually an involved parent who does everything for him. Yes, I was his wife. DV and Divorce agencies, feminists and their tax payer pork, state agencies and their matching funds, attorneys and judges with their artificially propped up legal fees, and single mothers who benefit from it all. Medical, dental, optical, school supplies, books, clothes, fun stuff, sports equipment, exs vehicle payments, insurance and registration, all outstanding debt. Many fathers sincerely want to do right by their children, but simply don't have the means to do so. I know what my kid likes because I spend quality time with him when I can and i expose him to numerous activities to broaden his horizons. The more men on the system the more money the States gets from the federal Government. Unbelievable. The final straw was one summer, when our youngest was just a year, the central-AC broke. Ive signed a release for my son to obtain a passport so that he may go on a cruise with his mom and her boyfriend because it was the right thing to do yet I am restricted from leaving the country or having a passport because..? The parents should decide together how to pay for the kids extras, and the few required expenses should be covered by a legal agreement to split the costs. The way it works now I get to see my youngest based on my exs work schedule. Phyllis MacCutcheon licensed in CT and NM only. My bf is an amazing dad and from day one tried his best to be an active parent. And even if she HAS worked, she still does a majority of the caretaking of the kids after work, stays home with sick kids, taking them to doctor, etc. Any parent making that choice of money over the other does not have the childs best interest at heart and should not be the one pulling the strings. How do we change it? 50 % of my income goes to cse and taxes. but going back to your point is that I think if a women who has 3 kids and receives $287 a month then any other women can make it. I left because of the alcohol abuse, his nonchalant, laissez-faire approach to work, life, family and our relationship. The courts need to take into account all of the other broad complexities of a situation.. For example the federal governmetn says 12,000 a year is plenty for a single person to live off of, and then they have other numbers for familes with 1,2 or more children on what a single or family should be able to live off of. I help them with their homework, have a good relationship with my ex wife and have my kiddos 3 days out of the week. The child support system covers about a quarter of American children, and can provide a crucial safety net for some families. Stop feeling sorry for yourselves and blaming other people for your own mistakes, and go do right by your children and the women raising them. Amen to that brotha couldnt agree with you more this system has to change asap our rights are being taken away little by little and with that our parent raising views and dreams /our hard work earned money and some.. I said he was a great dad and does everything he needed to. 2. I make a little over $45,000 a year and my ex thinks that is enough, so he should NOT have to contribute unless he wants to buy a pair of sneakers here and there, or pay for a bi-weekly haircut. If the percentage of time the children changed 70% with Sue and 30% with Bob the calculator results change to Bob owing $1100.00/month. Having the higher earner shoulder more of the financial responsibility, just because they can makes little senseespecially when they are ones who see the child the least! THEY WANT THIS STATUS QUO! Period. You have to owe several months worth of Child Support to get to the point where you cant drive your own car. Its just the opposite. Some of the tactics that states and local jurisdictions have employed to increase child support collection among low-income non-custodial dads include: Making child support payments more affordable. When the children were with us, he was 100% involved, and when they went home to their mother, he still continued to try to be involved in the raising of the children. If a man is not working he can be daycare and daycare is added on top of child support too, at least here. When 54% of my paycheck goes to my ex and 46% goes to my family of 5 how is that fair. It automatically goes straight to my exs account. Sounds like you have sour because your ex found a new love and you are now forced to pay child support for YOUR children. Child support may be ordered when the parents are separated, have never lived together, or are in divorce, dissolution of marriage, annulment, or in the midst of paternity and legal separation cases. The whole system is punitive, if I lose my job and cant afford an attorney to get my payments reduced they threaten to take away drivers license or put you in jail. Read most all of these comments. He gets many phone calls on his show about this topic. File for full custody. But 800.00 a month and 1200.00 on a 3 paycheck month, come on thats crazy. And the courts should revise theyre laws accordingly. So it sounds as though women should think of the possibilities before exploring their sexuality. Family court and the laws r a joke and unfair. I have since raised all of the children, with the Lord and the crumbs he provided for child support. All this state funded support also places a burden on the noncustodial parent to replace that support when the custodial parent is more than capable of providing some type of support to at least even the blow. Who still has never gotten to meet his brother. Please support reform laws in your state and at the federal level! Time matters not Money. From businesses to governments, from tv shows and commercials to major league sports. Their mother made every situation so impossible, add drinking a prescription pills into the mix, then a court system that always gives the mom the upper hand even with criminal convictions and documented suicidal tendencies, there is no analysis of the entire situation or consideration for the good of the children beyond the support dollars. She makes 160k a year. So who really is the dead beat. Apparently, he moves from one woman to the next living it up, drinking, partying, smoking weed and taking trips. Our government has failed us. There are MANY things wrong with the child support system, that need to be changed, starting by making laws uniform across the state, allowing it to be a pre-tax reduction for the person who pays it, a unified stopping point where the non-custodial parent is removed from paying without having to spend the time or money to have to go to court to get it stopped, etc. Id wash my hands and make me and them dinner, put in laundry then go to bed. CS is Servitude not ParentingCS needs to go away except in cases of actual abandonment. Thats when my nightmare began.Ive received 30 days incarceration, had to pay child support plus 100% of all their financial needs. I get disability benefits and $700 does not do it a month. Have the power to upset equality baby back into the home does matter to adult. The cost and risk of abortion and adoption because shes never been enforced to pay $ 55/wk, at. You get a decent lawyer because shes never been enforced to pay someone else to fix my.... 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