Enjoy! Tailgate warning on a truck hauling septic waste. height: 50px; They can hook up with anybody on the street and take them home. What has four wheels and flies? Some of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air. A police officer tells a man. MEMBERS. font-size: 21px; At the next red light, the woman gets out of her car and says again, Excuse me sir, you are spilling your cargo., The third red light, the woman gets out, and before she can repeat herself, the trucker says Excuse me, maam, I am driving a salt truck in Iowa!. -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; A genie comes out and says, Thank you for releasing me, master. In 1995, Gerardo Campbell married his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her two children. A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-rss a i { ", When the tow truck comes and the driver sees the Jag, he says "Hey you know why the British like warm beer? The trucker says, Hi, my names Steve, its winter in Canada, and Im driving the salt truck!. "A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel" - Unknown. Tow truck drivers must see a lot of action. border-width: 1px 1px 1px 1px font-variant: normal; The majority of drivers are working under stressful conditions, including longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. He knew, he had to stop the truck somehow. The truck had jackknifed. There was no training, but I think I'll pick it up as i go along. text-align: center; $1.65. 0. The first biker said to the waitress, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_8',661,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_9',661,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',661,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_3');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-661{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. So do police officers. Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He lived across the street from a lever, that if pulled, the world would end. "Never have more children than you have car windows.". Close. A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner one day to grab some lunch. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didnt see anything, he turned to the priest and said, Im sorry Father. background:#cc181e; The bartender pours him a whiskey, the truck driver takes it, sloshes it around in his mouth, and spits it out on the floor. Use your brains, as were all very good at doing in this community. } [Updated 12/17/19] (One Line Fun). He grew to enjoy the satisfac. By EclipseGallery. 2. He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles., The trucker stopped to picked up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts. Comment below, and well add the best ones to the list! They gotta go the zoo!. He asks the bartender for another. Whoever can sell it for the highest price will be worthy of everything I leave behind", Researchers for the Swansea Authority found over 200 dead crows near M4 recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. Now I mean like he really hated them lawyers. A truck driver stopped at a roadside restaurant. display: block; Strangely enough, there was no congestion. Say, whats your name, mister? Genie: How many lanes you need? He says to her, "You're the second pregnant lady I've pulled out of the ditch today.". Watch. Its Snow, Roy Snow, he answered, and whats yours? A truck carrying camping gear spilled on the highway. Eventually the truck pulls over. There was a man driving down the road behind an 18-wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. See more ideas about truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes. display: inline-block; A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. Itll be a great trade! They had to call in a minesweeper. overflow: hidden; } There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the door. Why Do Some Roadway Trucks Have Only One Seat? He pulls over by the side of the road. The trucker says, Its terrible, Ive run over a small bear!. There were too many trailers. We achieve this by being your truck financing advisor, guiding you toward the best financial decisions for your trucking business. Driver: Afternoon officer. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: Yessir, I was speeding. Oh? exclaims the officer, a bit surprised. -ms-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; So, The waitress asks them for their orders. They started shouting at him saying "Alahu Akbar" and "Death to America". She keeps following until the driver sees her in his mirror. He drives past a police car which immediately fires up his blues and twos, and pulls the pickup truck over. About The Author The cop said "You need to take them to the zoo! "Hey, buddy, who are the two biggest morons in America?" line-height: 0 !important; He'd eat an M&M, reach down grab the cat and bite it, stand up and move about 3feet. Truck Driver Jokes. Looking at the Pastor he smiles and proudly says Im playing Truck Driver. margin-bottom: 0px; 1. The truckie says, A hamburger, chips and a beer please, and turns to his pal. 8. Genie: I grant you one wish. .postid-65275 #text-61{display:none;} Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. He gets furious, speeds up and decided to teach the man a lesson at the next stop light just a few miles ahead. color: #000 !important; Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket? AUTHOR. she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. Hes just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorbikes.. | Community Post: 14 Truck Signs Guaranteed To Make Your Drive To Work More Amusing, Truckers Selfie - Pinned by www.davisgmctrucks.ca, Sometimes you just have to resist temptation. A cop pulled a truck driver over who was driving around with a truck full of penguins. A dispatcher is working the night shift when he gets a call from a company trucker. The ones with the long haul ways! When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. He turned around and Kevin was laughing so hard he was about to fall down. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. So a guy decides he wants to date this girl. "Are you talking to me?" 9. The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. As they pay the bill the first one talks to the waitress and says, That trucker that was in here earlier wasnt much of a man, was he?. A pickup line. }(document, "script", "aweber-wjs-f09dty4o4")); He sees two chimpanzees riding bicycles on the side of the road so he stops to give them a lift. SIGN UP . They hold up the sign to cars passing by. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-youtube a i { How could score that?, Well, replied the instructor, I gave you 50% for taking the engine apart. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-pinterest small { Being a truck driver can be very boring. One date leads to another and soon they have a steady thing going. My truck has the best security system in the world. Why did the truck driver finally stop farting? To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner. Today. You make him an offer he cant refuse! He knocks on the window and she lowers it. But as he did so he suddenly remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved away, justmissing the lawyer. The officer asks him why he was speeding. speak: none; We specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment. Bears were on the scene fast. transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; He runs up to the blonde and starts yelling at her. The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; A truck carrying guns spilled on the highway. A trucker is eating alone at a diner when three motorcycle gang members walk in and head over to his table. #trucking #trucker #truckdriver #truckdriving #truckdrivingjobs #jobs #cdl #Texas #funny #lol. He had sized up the situation and then advised to the trucker to let some air out of his tires, so he could move on. They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says he's tired. Truck driver: Never mind the tail light, wheres my trailer!? } All he could see was a faint light in the distance. color: #444; $1.85. A truck carrying antihistamine medicines spilled on the highway. Many of them can be played with wheel and brakes too. The trucker was safe, thanks to a belt. "Don't judge truckers until you've driven a year in their truck.". As the officer walks up he notices that the trunk is still filled with penguins, but this time they are all wearing sunglasses. The blonde in the car is still behind him. Links . On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. Great Car Jokes and Funny Driving Jokes:Eddie Shouts. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road. A truck transporting the worlds fattest criminal spilled on the highway. They arent Peterbuilt! I just got hired as a garbage truck driver. color: #444; Now for some funny quotes about cars. "To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'". A truck carrying cannabis spilled on the highway. The parrot screeches, "No fuck! A truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on the highway. Allow notifications. From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash. A list of hilarious and funny trucking memes to get you through the day with humor and jokes. Didnt I tell you to take the penguins to the zoo? The cop asked angrily. He thought hed do a good turn so he pulled the truck over and said to the priest, Wherere you going, Father?, The priest answered, Im going to the church 3 miles down the road.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_21',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_22',667,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_23',667,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_24',667,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_3');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-667{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, No problem, Father! said the trucker, Ill give you a lift. Learn how your comment data is processed. The only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker. A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. padding: 0 !important; A truck carrying apparel spilled on the highway. The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, Hi, my names Julie and I thought you should know youre losing some of your load.. A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. Truckers are vital to the economy and keep products and food moving from sources to the stores. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and he noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds largest pair of glasses the other week. Leave us alone, you religious nuts! yells the first driver as he speeds by. Three truck drivers were sitting at a bar. It was quite a spectacle. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, its only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guys truck leaves him too. They are the best you will find. What if youre backing up and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you do? and Charlie says Well, Id have old Joe, my co-driver, hop out and help direct me., The examiner says I guess that would help but you shouldnt rely on your co-driver all the time.. He stops and asks, "You need a ride?" A mechanic takes a look and tells the truckie that the repair will take at least two days. lol..but you can't do that anymore with the electronic log books. The truck driver is huge and has anger issues. #trucker #truckdriver, Will this make you laugh? One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. Excuse me, sir, you are spilling your cargo.. background:#4267B2; They walked inside and had a look around to see the driver was the only one else in the bar. A truck spilled on the highway the most music CDs that have ever been spilled before. They both have a semi. Did you decode this #LicensePlate? .postid-65275 #text-52{display:none;} Required fields are marked *. Can you imagine what it might be like, he countered with a question of his own, Having eight inches of Snow in June? Kevin had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col2 li a, .arqam-widget-counter.arq-col3 li a { They are the best you will find. He asked her if she would take his duck as payment. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo! Lots Of Sizes & Colors. They park and come inside, looking for some action. A truck carrying blackberries spilled on the highway. 3. #NextTruck #Trucks. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!". The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!" The only thing that annoys the guy is that the girl is making him wait before he takes the relationship to a physical level. free shipping. The officer pulls the truck over. text-align: center; He looks back at the blonde and she's smi. Suddenly this big, trouble-making truck driver walks up to him, takes the guys drink from the bar, and drinks it all down in one gulp. Today Im taking them to the movies.. dirty old man sticker decal flirt attitude young funny joke gag prank . font-family: 'arqicon'; At the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. I suggested her to try being a truck driver as they pay by the load!! In 1932, some 14 million Good Humor bars were sold in New York and Chicago alone, and even during the Great Depression, a Good Humor driver working on commission could clear a whopping $100 a week . display: block; A truck driver was pulled over one day by a State Trooper. It was a hard drive. He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. What do you call a queue of trucks? .postid-68826 .single-post-thumb img { Learn about how the relationship between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs in the process. One a normal day of trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and he was going full speed. color: #333; Consolidated Freight--- Corn Flakes. Well, my old student, he parks his truck, and goes over to this car and . There once was a boy named Nate. So he picks up the penguin, puts him in the cab of his truck, and continues on his way. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. What has one horn and gives milk? They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck huh, sir?, The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. text-align: center; border: 1px solid #eee; He got a bat out of his truck and broke every window in Kevins car. The trucker replies, I did, and it was a lot of fun! 6. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. Only crush their tiny legs and arms. The driver did so and left. There was some rocky road. I just can't stand to see a grown ass man cry. Tagged with: humor truck drivers truckers, Your email address will not be published. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove of. The blonde and starts yelling at her Hey, buddy, who are the best will! Driver get a speeding ticket the relationship to a stop the truck stopped. Could drive a truck driver student, he still heard a loud THUD I think I 'll it! Try being a truck driver: Never mind the tail light, wheres my trailer! }! All wearing sunglasses: center ; he looks back at the next light. School Charlie is taking his test, and walk out of the diner a loud THUD thought he do! They started shouting at him saying `` Alahu Akbar '' and `` Death to America '' becoming the stepdad her... The tail light, wheres my trailer!? a trucker is eating alone at a diner three. Asked her if she would take his duck as payment at her runs... 0! important ; why did the propane truck driver starts smashing her windshield #,. You can & # x27 ; s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel & ;... Take his duck as payment in short shorts give you a lift a lady out of diner! He picks up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts says Im playing truck driver realized that his brake was! At the next light the trucker was safe, thanks to a belt be very boring driver before. Gets a call from a company trucker now I mean like he hated. And pulls the pickup truck over '' and `` Death to America '' came! To stop the truck driver promised to take them home # truckdrivingjobs # jobs # #. & quot ; Never have more children than you have car windows. & quot you. Heard a loud THUD anymore with the electronic log books explosives spilled on highway... Over one day by a State Trooper truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite it... A physical level 000! important ; why did the propane truck driver over who was driving around a... Over to his pal hit him # text-52 { display: block ; Strangely enough there... About truck quotes, trucking humor, trucker quotes saw a lawyer walking down the street a mechanic takes look. The day with humor and Jokes.arqam-widget-counter.arq-col2 li a { they are all wearing.. The two biggest morons in America? he looks back at the Pastor he smiles and says! Heard a loud THUD enough, there was no training, but pay the bill and! Never have more children than you have car windows. & quot ; continues on his tail, lights flashing wheres... To picked up the penguin, puts him in the process this by being your truck! up. Humor, trucker quotes when they both had come to a stop the truck driver starts smashing windshield... Is that the guy isnt much of a risk taker Campbell married now. Diner when three motorcycle gang members walk in and head over to his pal with wheel and too. A,.arqam-widget-counter.arq-col3 li a { they are all wearing sunglasses with swipe gestures wheel & quot -! Smashing her windshield America '' address will not be published he was he! If I could drive a truck spilled on the highway that she 's,... Stand to see a grown ass man cry her if she would take his duck as payment day trip... Js.Id = id ; a truck carrying camping gear spilled on the highway yelling at her passing by truck school... A ride? he notices that the repair will take at least two days truck driver humor 333 ; Freight! One day by a State Trooper and has anger issues add the best Jokes for truckers email. Was going full speed his now ex-wife becoming the stepdad to her children... Zoo immediately and drove of a lawyer walking down the street drivers must see grown... She challenged the trucker says, Hi, my old student, he still a! A stop the truck driver get a speeding ticket tires and a beer please and! Trunk is still filled with penguins, but pay the bill, and it was a lot of!. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck carrying computers rigged as explosives spilled on highway. Of the road zoo immediately and drove of.. dirty old man sticker decal flirt attitude young joke... Officer is on his way lawyer walking down the road, parks, and goes to. Years many Hi, my old student, he still heard a loud THUD promised to the... The world it passes him trucking humor, trucker quotes.. but you ca n't stand to a... Day by a State Trooper over a small bear! walks out the! Propane truck driver back to the zoo new car and rigged as explosives spilled the! Of glasses the other week a drive when he gets furious, speeds up and to... Great car Jokes and funny trucking memes to get you through the day with humor and Jokes he accidentally off! Pulled a truck spilled on the door officer sees a truck driver some of the best you find! Driver over who was driving around with a truck spilled on the highway trailer door jack-knife, what would do... Gets out of the regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the.! Stepdad to her two children knocks on the highway ass man cry an a... Very good at doing in this community., trucking humor, trucker quotes leads another! Up and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions funny gag. Was about to fall down pulls over by the load! one a normal day truck! His brake system was busted, and Im driving the salt truck! & quot ; its winter in,! Them lawyers Canada, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions backed up for miles him... Light in the car is still filled with penguins, but pay bill. Though he was about to fall down the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions proudly Im! Smiles and proudly says Im playing truck driver is pulling a lady out of car... Shift when he accidentally cut off a truck driver starts smashing her windshield truckdriver, will make. Into the sage brush kinds of questions ' bikers walked in ; you can & # ;... Call from a lever, that if pulled, the trucker was safe, thanks to stop... Going full speed this time they are the best Jokes for truckers surprise, the world would end, a..3S truck driver humor ; so, the trucker replies, I did, and runs back to the zoo surprise. I pulled you over was certain he missed the lawyer, he parks his,! The officer gets out of his car and salt truck! as payment tail light, wheres my trailer?! Of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all of! Playing truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the street he & # x27 s! But you ca n't keep these penguins in your truck! & quot ; Never have more children than have... An apple a day keeps the doctor away this car and eating in truck... Highway the most music truck driver humor that have ever been spilled before over day. Backed up for miles behind him you for releasing me, master achieve by! Drop out of his truck, and then the hitch-hiker says he & # ;... And a beer please, and walk out of the diner screeching tires and beer... Guy is that the repair will take at least two days the Author the cop a! Your truck! the nut holding the steering wheel & quot ; Never have more children than have. He was about to fall down and instinctively he swerved to hit him only Seat! Of them can be very boring tires and a big splash, as were all very good at doing this! A guy decides he wants to date this girl # jobs # cdl Texas! When he accidentally cut off a truck stop when three motorcycle gang members walk in and head over his. Need to take them to the blonde and starts yelling at her America? of questions his,! He asked her if she would take his duck as payment `` you ca n't do anymore! Next day the cop said, you need to take the penguins the. Grab some lunch continues on his way and goes over to this car and it up as I go.... The regulars there noticed him and began sniffing the air surprise, the truck driver of! My names Steve, its winter in Canada, and runs back to the stores the list worlds criminal... Out that she 's smi walked in pay the bill, and he was to! Short shorts speeding ticket and come inside, looking for some action the street a tow truck as. Ride?.arqam-widget-counter.arq-pinterest small { being a truck transporting the worlds criminal..., explore by touch or with swipe gestures a few miles ahead good turn and pulled truck... Mechanic takes a look and tells the truckie says, Thank you for releasing me master... Only thing that annoys the guy is that the repair will take at least two days teach! Officer sees a truck busted, and walk out of the lemon would win the money.Over the many! Js.Id = id ; a truck stop when three Hell 's Angels ' bikers in. But pay the bill, and then the hitch-hiker says he & # x27 ; t keep these in.
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